Can I make this work?

Work so far - trying to use free machine embroidery with paper that has a design made through burning / scorching the paper. A really interesting, but very tricky technique and difficult image to manage emotionally. I thought I would be ok to use a design taken from a difficult time in my life, make the pattern and then repair with stitch. It would be beautiful and hide the trauma but at the moment it is too graphic and therefor hiding very little. 

Glassine, plain 40gms

unknown paper type

Technique - photograph manipulated in photoshop and then traced / scorched with a pyrography machine set at number 4 (1-10). The paper is then sandwiched between 'Madeira cut and iron away film'. The image is very carefully made / repaired with free motion embroidery. A fine, sharp machine needle, i.e. not a ball point, is used to minimise further damage to the paper. Once the embroidery is complete the support fabric is removed with an iron set on a medium heat. This proves quite difficult because the support fabric is quite sticky and the paper is very fragile and therefor easily breaks as the iron is moved over the top. 

And the image is quite stark - I have not managed to hide it and make a beautiful repair, it is obvious. It needs concealing either by adding layers or manipulating the design, turning my image into a suggestion but still resonant of the damage otherwise the beauty can not show.

Khadi, Natural Lokta 3

This pattern is more abstract, there is a link but it is concealed unless looked for. The image has been cut and manipulated. It is raised because I tried a different way to remove the backing - ironing over baking parchment - the support fabric just fused with the paper instead of lifting. 

Silk Crepe Back Satin, medium

Material was a lot easier to work with so for that reason I will continue experimenting with the more problematic medium - paper. Also, it strengthens the element of fragility and need for careful handling.

Today we had a really interesting lecture by Michael Brennand-Wood: it was titled 'Pretty Deadly' due to his link with the beauty of stitch and the uncomfortable language of war. From the beginning of his career, Brennand-Wood has realised the potential within embroidery to explore ideas and transform it in to a 'fine art'. Wood can be combined with fabric, machine embroidery will hide the ravages of war.

Pretty Deadly, Michael Brenand-Wood

So I can combine the image of our family trauma with a delicate, stitched technique? Can I find a paper which is strong yet delicate and a pattern that suggests and does not hide?

Tutorial with Matthew Harris

It is now time to move forward with my textile work as my main piece of work for art is in the final stages. Having this pause  in textiles has given my time to really think and consider my options and also allowed a tutorial to take place with Matthew Harris.

Matthew Harris a fantastic artist who uses dying, cutting and hand stitching to translate drawn marks into cloth. I carefully talked about my work whilst he quietly listened, he thought and then started to give me some really helpful advice. Whilst he encouraged my theme of damage and repair he did say that I had to be careful that my idea of producing a garment could just become a design project and that my work is about an idea which I must carefully consider. Do I want to convey a message and if so just how much do I want the viewer to see? Could I use a pillow case or a bed sheet instead of a night gown? This was an exciting idea. When there has been a trauma some people look and just want you to be ok, some will question you further and some will listen to how you feel. Some times you want to tell people and sometimes you don't. So I may include some layers to hide and conceal or reveal more. But what will be the best vehicle for this conversation  - small scale blocks, a full sized garment or bed linen made from paper or silk? What I must do now is think carefully about the image I use for the damage design and just how much of it I show. The one thing I am sure about is that I want it to be beautiful - and I only want the people who want to see - 'that mending can happen'. 

from the 'Lantern Collection', Matthew Harris

Harris draws people into his work through pattern, repeating and disrupting the marks so that visual connections amplify the suggestion he is trying to make. So this is my next step, find an image (which I think I already have or know), draw, cut, manipulate and see what happens.